thoughts unfiltered

Nerves to the left...nerves to the right. Nerves filling me up inside...anxiety! Yup...that’s it. Feelings of all these things wash over me. My shoulders rose up to my ears, my neck hurts, my body it tense...why?

Because of the unknown, the anticipation of what’s to come. The thoughts won’t go away. Am I good enough? It always comes back to this. Things learned early on in life haunt my being when my journey comes to a place where its new, out of my comfort zone...the scary! 

Today I set my sights and my car in a direction I’ve not yet been. To something new. Banff yoga festival! Why would this be scary? I don’t know...I understand yoga, I teach yoga...but is that enough? 

As I arrived closer to my destination my body changed, my breath changed...I’m not the same. I’m covered in a blanket of anxiety! Something that doesn’t always visit...but when it’s hard to peel away. 

As I boarded my shuttle to my first class it kept wrapping itself tighter and tighter. Harder to breathe, shakes, unstable...I write it off as hunger, which I suppose it could have been. 

We arrive at our destination amungst the trees, the babbling brook, the sounds of nature, the wisdom from a new voice, it’s different, but it lands. 

As we walk we embrace our senses, sight, followed by smell and touch. 

Hug a tree...explore, find a tree that calls to you. Place your left hand on your heart, right hand on the tree and close your eyes. 

It was a flood of emotions from the moment my eyes closed, the exhale through my mouth. The experience was amazing. My body felt so relaxed, my shoulders relaxed and the flood of colours flowed through the spectrum while my eyes were closed. 

My chakras began to move. I could hear the sounds of nature, the faint voice of the instructor...I arrived! 

I felt at home, the experience began to feel easier. After carrying on I could hear the subtle tone amongst the sounds of nature. A cello, it kept me grounded. This is the first experience of peace I’ve had in soo long. Sitting by the water meditating with all the sounds continued to flow through me. 

The message has been received. Allow yourself to connect with nature often, and feel ok to fall apart. It’s ok to feel new, and allow change to come. Do not fear it, embrace it at your own pace. 

Inhale filling yourself full of love, exhale to send it out into the universe.

Written by Tiffany Braun